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Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Ransomed in Egypt - Excerpt Johnny Oops


Finally, the Embassy forked over $100,000 ransom, and the Egyptian Government released one of their buddies who only had twenty years left to serve on his sentence and was considered a short timer.

Our release was the high point of our trip to Egypt. We were dumped, bound and blindfolded, in front of the American Embassy exactly at 4 PM on a Thursday afternoon from the back of what sounded and felt like a pick up truck, which sped off.  Two big hulking Marines ran out, grabbed us unceremoniously by the seat of our pants and flung us onto the other side of the Embassy gate and into freedom’s outstretched arms. Now I know what it means to be an American and to be saved by the Marines.

We were reunited in the Ambassador’s living room with our families. Our respective parents flew over to meet us and take us home. The good professor was there, looking like he was going to cry, rubbing his eyes with his hands. The tall waspish Ambassador gave us a stern lecture in his office, out of earshot of our parents, indicating how unwise we were. He said, “Two strapping young Americans with blonde and red hair shouldn’t go wondering around in the red light district of Cairo. You should consider yourselves lucky to be alive. You can’t expect the United States Government to go bailing you over-sexed idiots out of trouble every time you get an itch.” He suggested we go home and find another way to satisfy our urges. I can relate to that.

We were filthy and hungry. My folks took us back to the Hilton Hotel for showers and a good meal. They were relieved we were still alive because now as they said, “We will have the opportunity to kill you ourselves.”

The Episcopal Bishop told my parents, “Be patient and have faith. Boys will be boys.” I think I like his religious beliefs.

We returned home to what turned out in my case to be relative house arrest. I think I had more freedom of movement when I was a captive of the terrorists. My old friend Billy offered to come over and keep me company. I was so bored that I said okay. Our meeting was pathetic. He hasn’t changed and said he was sorry for being so boring. No wonder Billy is still in High School. He will probably be there forever. 

I can’t wait for the summer to end so I can return to college and freedom. I’ve made all kinds of plans. You have to be careful what you plan. My experience in Egypt has left me with a more abiding faith in the Almighty.  God has his own plans for us and I believe that on a one to one basis his plans always come first. 

Until this point in my life I have studiously avoided facial ornamentation of any kind. I don’t feature having my ears, nose or mouth pierced—that’s disgusting. I feel the same way about tattoos. But with my newfound faith, I couldn’t resist one small ankle scripture that reads, “God Heals,” in Navy Blue. Getting this Tattoo is one of the few over the top things I’ve ever done and never been sorry for.

Friday, February 24, 2012

New 5 star review of Johnny Oops 11 - Timeless

Just received this wonderful 5 star review of [[ASIN:B005XP2GPO Johnny Oops 11 - Timeless]].

5.0 out of 5 stars JOHNNY OOPS II - TIMELESS IS A THRILL RIDE NASA WISHED, February 24, 2012
By
J. D. Michael Phelps "Michael Phelps" (Miami, Florida) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)  
This review is from: Johnny Oops 11 - Timeless (Paperback)

ARTHUR J. LEVINE created "JOHNNY OOPS", an earthling with a dubious path through life, both personal and career wise. His career was selling Bibles door-to-door, which afforded him the opportunity to indulge in his favorite pastime, sex! He finally settled down and married, his wife bore him a son JOHNNY OOPS II. JOHNNY OOPS II was a genius - from his father or his mother's genes, we are left to wonder. A graduate of MIT (he entered at the age of 16), he was snapped up by NASA as a Rocket Scientist. He has a lot of mental issues (I suppose most gifted children-men-women are predisposed to have). JOHNNY OOPS II and his "OUTY" (that is his INNER-SELF) design and build a small space ship and the adventure begins!

IF you have not read "JOHNNY OOPS", DO IT NOW . . . before you buy and read "JOHNNY OOPS II - TIMELESS", or you will wish you had. If you DO NOT BUY and READ both "JOHNNY OOPS" and "JOHNNY OOPS II - TIMELESS", then you will miss one of life's great pleasures . . . and if you miss these two wonderfully written books, you may as well just kill yourself! (I am NOT recommending anyone do that, but when you read Arthur Levine's books, you will have all the more reason to live, because I am certain there will be more adventures of JOHNNY OOPS II, his wife ALA and son JOHNWORLD! I can hear Author Arthur J. Levine's brain moving at space-warp speed as I write this.

I have been very busy with my own writings, thus not much time for reading and reviewing other great Writer' work. I am now back to devoting time to reading, and "JOHNNY OOPS II - TIMELESS" was one heck of a READ and a virtual RIDE!

This book deserves TEN STARS in my rating, but Amazon and most others only allow for FIVE STARS - and I doubt any reader would venture below that for "JOHNNY OOPS II - TIMELESS".

GET IT NOW BEFORE IT IT TOO LATE!

Best regards,

Michael Phelps
Author

Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Review for Johnny Oops 11 - Timeless

5.0 out of 5 stars A Modern-era GULLIVER'S TRAVELS, February 12, 2012
By 
Amazon Verified Purchase(What's this?)
This review is from: Johnny Oops 11 - Timeless (Kindle Edition)
Just finished Johnny Oops 11 - Timeless by the highly talented visionary Arthur J. Levine. This sequel to Johnny Oops does not disappoint. A far out, fun read to overcome the winter blues.

Johnny Oops 11 is a rocket scientist who flies a spaceship to a far away planet with his inner self, Outy, and marries a bald Blue lady by the name of Ala who never ceases asking Johnny funny questions. They have a son called Johnworld who is Magenta colored, has Yellow hair and perceives his mission in life to be to propagate different races. They spend most of their lives trying to ward off the prejudice and bigotry that follows people of color.

Discriminated against back on Earth, Johnny Oops 11 sets off once again in another spaceship together with millions of Indolts-Ala's people, and the Magentas of which Johnworld is the first. On their new home of Everworld they meet other races of various colors and stripes called the Fugats, the Juicers, and the Three Tribes.

Before long they form a Great Society, which is intent on not color-coding their emotions. After fighting off skeptical suicide bomber Mimon birds who don't believe they can succeed, they discover a new reality and enter the Paradise of their dreams.

This book is very funny satire (especially of Homeland Security and Congress) and a sort of modern-era GULLIVER'S TRAVELS. Levine's witty dialogue and outrageous plot are highly entertaining and thought provoking. There are some serious underlying philosophies offered here though.

If you want to read something decidedly different and unlike anything else on the book market, give both books a try. Highly original, thought provoking and entertaining stuff.

Sunday, February 19, 2012

Jophnny Oops Finds Real Love

A snippet from Johnny Oops.

Alice and I took advantage of our freedom by making plans to spend the weekend together. Alice said the time had come. Who am I to argue with my darling Alice? There is only so much satisfaction you can get in the bathroom when what you really want is more in the nature of an ultimate social interaction with the woman you love.

We did the deed. We joined together. We mixed our essential essences of life. Alice groaned and moaned, pulling me closer and closer to her. At first I didn't realize this didn't signify pain, but rather pleasure. I grunted like a tennis ace serving at 129 miles an hour as I thrust forward, murmuring, "I love you; I love you." We exploded together into a new reality. This was the greatest thing that ever happened to me in my entire life. Alice said our union was the best for her too.

We shared my bed in my bedroom, the room where I had been a child, most of Saturday until our magnificent union propelled me into adulthood. We caressed each other, marveled at how perfect our love was, and did it again and again. Each time was better than the time before. Each time we knew more about each other. Each time I felt more fulfilled. I couldn't keep my hands off her. I kissed every inch of her body. We said little. There was no need for words to express the passion we both felt.

Afterward Alice said, "I will cherish this day forever. You are the greatest, Johnny."

I always knew in my heart that I'd be good in the sack. I said, "I'll love you forever, Alice."

Regards,
Arthur

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

In Love With Alice - Snippet from Johnny Oops


She’s staring at my crotch again. When I look in her eyes she doesn’t even avert her gaze. Is she trying to tell me something? I wish I had more experience in these matters. I don’t know how I’m supposed to react, but God she is so beautiful and she gets me so excited.

“I feel confused. I have this deep emotional feeling welling up inside me for you. I feel happy and anxious at the same time. If this is love, I think I really like love. How do you know when it’s love and just not sex, Alice?” 

“That’s easy. If you have deep emotional feeling for me then you’re in love and not just interested in sex. If this was just sex we wouldn’t still be waiting for the right time.”

“I don’t know how much longer I can wait, Alice. I feel like I’m going to explode.”

“I know. I feel the same way, Johnny. That’s how love is.”

I can’t wait to go home and go to the bathroom. She is making me so hot with this staring of hers. I don’t know how much longer I can control myself. I wish I knew what signal she was trying to send me. Am I supposed to be more aggressive?

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Featured at Iselfpub.com

My novel Johnny Oops 11 - Timeless just got featured at Iselfpub.com. Check it out for yourself at http://iselfpub.com/2012/02/johnny-oops-by-arthur-levine/

Happy Valentines day. I know my wife 52 years today.

Regards,
Arthur

Sunday, February 12, 2012

5 Star review of Johnny Oops 11 - Timeless

Hi everyone, just received a wonderful five star review of my novel  Johnny Oops 11 - Timeless by James Anderson the author of  DEADLINE.

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

1 of 1 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars A Modern-era GULLIVER'S TRAVELS, February 12, 2012
By
James A. Anderson "Author" (London, Ontario Canada) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)  
Amazon Verified Purchase(What's this?)
This review is from: Johnny Oops 11 - Timeless (Kindle Edition)
Just finished Johnny Oops 11 - Timeless by the highly talented visionary Arthur J. Levine. This sequel to Johnny Oops does not disappoint. A far out, fun read to overcome the winter blues.

Johnny Oops 11 is a rocket scientist who flies a spaceship to a far away planet with his inner self, Outy, and marries a bald Blue lady by the name of Ala who never ceases asking Johnny funny questions. They have a son called Johnworld who is Magenta colored, has Yellow hair and perceives his mission in life to be to propagate different races. They spend most of their lives trying to ward off the prejudice and bigotry that follows people of color.

Discriminated against back on Earth, Johnny Oops 11 sets off once again in another spaceship together with millions of Indolts-Ala's people, and the Magentas of which Johnworld is the first. On their new home of Everworld they meet other races of various colors and stripes called the Fugats, the Juicers, and the Three Tribes.

Before long they form a Great Society, which is intent on not color-coding their emotions. After fighting off skeptical suicide bomber Mimon birds who don't believe they can succeed, they discover a new reality and enter the Paradise of their dreams.

This book is very funny satire (especially of Homeland Security and Congress) and a sort of modern-era GULLIVER'S TRAVELS. Levine's witty dialogue and outrageous plot are highly entertaining and thought provoking. There are some serious underlying philosophies offered here though.

If you want to read something decidedly different and unlike anything else on the book market, give both books a try. Highly original, thought provoking and entertaining stuff.

Thursday, February 9, 2012

Johnny's Going Away Party From France - Excerpt Johnny Oops


Danielle’s friends gave me a going away party on a secluded section of the beach that spread below the village of Ez, late in the afternoon, the day before I left. They made a huge fire of driftwood. Brought a ton of French wine from Pinot Blanc to red Syrah and a beer called Biere de garde. We grilled French garlic sausages called Saucissons a l’Ail. When you bite into them, herbed garlic and pork juices squirt pleasantly in your mouth, a perfect counterbalance to the strong dark beer. 

Someone brought a big old-fashioned boom box, which blasted out French party music by a wicked group called Rinôçérôse from an album named Installation Sonore (V2) and dozens of others whose names I can’t remember. Forget the misspelling of Rhinoceros. The Album was made by two former French physiologists and the cover is a picture by a psychiatric patient of a rhinoceros. He couldn’t spell properly even in French. They gave me a copy of the Rinôçérôse album as a going away present hoping I would introduce it at some of the dance clubs I go to in NYC. Me and my imagination, I made a decision on the spot never to exaggerate to the people that I care about.

The music played none stop, but no one bothered us. One of Danielle’s friends is the son of the head gendarme or policeman. We danced, partied, and many couples including Danielle and I snuck off to make love behind the sand dunes.

Later, as a blazing roiled sun set behind the horizon, everyone gathered together to toss me into the air in a blue beach blanket with a picture of Mickey Mouse in black and red. They cheered my name. “Johnny, Johnny, we love you,” they shouted in English. “Johnny, Johnny, don’t go. Johnny, Johnny, come back soon.”

Why did I have to come a foreign country to find friends who really care about me? Maybe I wasn’t ready to be a social animal before, and maybe Danielle has brought out the best in me. I don’t know. All I know is that I’m out, and I’m loving the togetherness. May the party of life go on forever. I don’t want to be alone any more. 

My vision of life may not be perfect, but it’s better than just going with the flow. I can’t count on it bringing me redemption or joy, but confronted with the alternative of death and despair, there has always got to be a better way. I search for it constantly. I have faith that one day I will find what I’m looking for.

Some pretty heavy thoughts for a carefree kid who is barely seventeen I guess, but that’s me. That’s the different realities I live in I suppose. That’s the Game Master playing with my head again, but I don’t care.

Wednesday, February 8, 2012

My Damn Genes - Snippet from Johnny Oops


I feel like I am surrounded by a maze of doors. I open one door and find a family tragedy. I open another door and find a new beginning. When will I find the door that gives me peace of mind? I thought being unfaithful was my exclusive prerogative. Now my damn genes have affected my wife and my daughter-in-law. How is that possible? I must be going crazy. Maybe my genes carry an unfaithful virus and they are affecting all the women in my family. This is the pits.

Wednesday, February 1, 2012

Johnny's First Love


Shortly after my fifteenth birthday the big event finally occurred. Alice and I had gone about as far as we could go in exploring one another’s private parts and titillating each other without actually having sex. Her father had gone to a symposium on Theology in New York City for the weekend where he was to be a guest speaker at an interfaith convention of religious leaders.

My folks had taken a weekend vacation to Atlantic City to visit my Uncle Richard who was ailing. I think his gambling losses had caught up with him.

Alice and I took advantage of our freedom by making plans to spend the weekend together. Alice said the time had come. Who am I to argue with my darling Alice? There is only so much satisfaction you can get in the bathroom when what you really want is more in the nature of an ultimate social interaction with the woman you love.

We did the deed. We joined together. We mixed our essential essences of life. Alice groaned and moaned, pulling me closer and closer to her. At first I didn’t realize this didn’t signify pain, but rather pleasure. I grunted like a tennis ace serving at 129 miles an hour as I thrust forward, murmuring, “I love you; I love you.” We exploded together into a new reality. This was the greatest thing that ever happened to me in my entire life. Alice said our union was the best for her too.

We shared my bed in my bedroom, the room where I had been a child, most of Saturday until our magnificent union propelled me into adulthood. We caressed each other, marveled at how perfect our love was, and did it again and again. Each time was better than the time before. Each time we knew more about each other. Each time I felt more fulfilled. I couldn’t keep my hands off her. I kissed every inch of her body. We said little. There was no need for words to express the passion we both felt.

Afterwards Alice said, “I will cherish this day forever. You are the greatest, Johnny.”

I always knew in my heart that I’d be good in the sack. I said, “I’ll love you forever, Alice.”

Our marathon session only ended because we both got hungry. We went downstairs and raided the refrigerator. Alice cooked and cleaned up. She made us this fantastic omelet with peppers and onions and lots of American cheese. We sat at the kitchen counter, eating and smiling knowingly at each other. Alice is so terrific. Someday she is going to be my wife. She does everything well. For now, passion and love will have to suffice. For now, our union is wonderful. For now we have today, tomorrow isn’t in our next eight-hour plan. The future will have to wait. Besides, life doesn’t get any better than this.

After a while, we learned to pace ourselves. Not that our longings have abated, but no one can live with that kind of intense, raw physical coupling forever without feeling emotionally drained and physically damaged. We were exhausting ourselves. Better to take one’s time and experience the pure slow pleasure of our coupling. We didn’t have to worry, we would always have time for more, or so I thought. I couldn’t conceive of life without Alice. Just couldn’t be. Would never happen. And then my whole life came to a halt.