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Sunday, April 17, 2011

Excerpt Johnny Oops - Screaming, Spinning, Falling

CHAPTER 11

Michelangelo Armstrong’s philosophy course can’t help me now. I’m screaming, spinning, falling, in a drug-induced frenzy of my own doing. Will the horror never end? I need to change my life.

Developing a new perspective is a little like trying to create a new reality. You can’t just move from one reality or perspective to another without causing something to change in the way you regard yourself and the way other people look at you.

As you try to close up the entranceway into your new preferred reality and wrap yourself in the imagined sweet smells and warm physical touches of the woman you love, it’s hard not to get distracted and get your private parts caught in your zipper. You can’t just pull away from one version of life and go to another without experiencing some wrenching pain in the transition because life is a process of entanglement. It’s not possible to make an absolutely clean break. Some part of you is going to be left behind. Some part of you is going to have to form a new way of dealing with problems and crisis, a new identity. I’m being pulled in one direction and pushed in another at the same time. That’s what Quantum entanglements are about.

Quantum data does not separate itself completely from the reaction it’s creating, even in the splitting of atoms, without causing an opposite reaction. My problem is I’m not sure of what type of change I’m causing as I strive to develop a new environment for myself. I’m not sure of what type of entanglements I’m fostering as I try to escape the old ones. Maybe I should leave the creation of new realities to the Game Master, but I can’t help myself. I always have to push my limits, pushing and pulling myself in different directions at the same time as every one of my actions causes a random undecipherable reaction in the opposite direction, and the Quanta, or sub atomic particles of my being, refuse to adhere to a set pattern.

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