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Wednesday, March 7, 2012

Excerpt from Johnny Oops 11 - Timeless

A snippet from Johnny Oops 11 - Timeless.

Two days later, Ala, Johnworld, Ilo, all the Magenta grandchildren, and their mothers as well as myself are arrested by agents of the FBI on suspicion of being homegrown terrorists. We are accused of plotting to take over the United States with a new alien race called the Magentas. The officers of the TV production company who sponsored our wedding are also arrested on charges of adding and abetting and the TV station, which is preparing to run our reality TV show, is threatened with the loss of their license to broadcast by the Federal Communications Commission.

Me a terrorist? Never happen. I need a lawyer. Senator Wills says he will have nothing else to do with us. The ACLU says they don’t defend Homegrown Terrorists unless and until they are brought to trial after being illegally incarcerated for at least two years. We need help. What do I do?

We are temporarily housed in the Park Avenue Armory on 68th street in NYC, which is the host to the antique show. I’m surprised we weren’t put on display as relics from another era or is that planet. Our treatment is pretty bad. We are questioned day and night, feed only sparingly, refused any needed medical treatment, and denied access to lawyers. Surprisingly we Humans were treated the worst. The FBI and Homeland Security were convinced we were part of some grand conspiracy to take over the United States. At the end of one sleep deprived three-hour interview with some thuggish CIA agent on loan to the FBI I was half convinced they were right. Nice to see all these agencies finally working together, but why did I and Ala and my son have to be the target of their new spirit of cooperation.

Did you ever have a dream that you were trapped in a small room, stripped naked, hanging by your arms from a ceiling beam and waiting to be tortured by a black hooded manic with a bullwhip slashing back and forth in his hand. That’s how I felt.

Thank God for the Indolts. They come to our rescue and threaten to take their diamonds and leave for another world if we weren’t treated properly. And so ensues a long negotiation over the Indolt status as resident aliens and the future of the Magentas.

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