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Tuesday, July 12, 2011

The Junior Prophet Arrives

The junior Prophet arrived with an entourage of four to minister to his needs. He was over six feet tall now and looked like a movie star. He had red hair that fell straight to his shoulders, and oh yes freckles on his face. With a combination of his mother’s and his father’s good looks and strong features, he appeared like a cross between good and evil. The woman at the Institute couldn’t take their eyes off him. He barely acknowledged them, but he noticed their glances. I need to warn this kid to use protection. His real age is now about sixteen.

Oh boy Junior said to his assistants, “I’m too young for this. I’m a child in a man’s body. Why won’t the Almighty give me time to grow up? I’m not ready for this sex thing. I haven’t even figured out how to play with myself yet. This being a philosopher genius isn’t what it’s cracked up to be. I thought being a Prophet made you immune from all this worldly stuff. Does this mean I’m not really immortal? I guess so because what I really want to do is cry like a baby, but how will it look if some six foot tall hunk starts to bawl like an infant?”

“Dad, where are you when I need you most? Off screwing around I guess. I don’t understand why you do that in the first place. I guess if you didn’t I wouldn’t be here. I have a new message from the Messenger ladies and gentleman, the bloodline stops here. No Oops family values for me, oh no, I’m going to be celibate. I assume that means I don’t have to cut anything off just abstain. If it doesn’t, I take back everything I said. Problems, problems, being me isn’t a job for an ordinary human. Thank God I’m not. Now I’m talking to myself.”

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